Prevention is better than cure.
In other words, it’s easier to stop something happening in the first place than to repair the damage after it has happened.
In a partnership, having more fun, quality time, and feeling gratitude is essential!
Covid-19 has changed many aspects of life as we knew it, affecting all of our relationships. What we were used to doing without much thought before the pandemic is often different now.
Simple things like going out to dinner, visiting family or friends have become a discussion point. The way you work may have changed. No or less childcare, helping the kids with homework (I hope this is history for you now), curfews, travel restrictions, even grocery shopping is different.
You may be spending more time together than before the pandemic in one house, even in one room. Adding up all the ‘closeness,’ being in each other’s space for too long, can lead to mutual irritation. This can lead to moments where you say or do foolish or hurtful things and put your relationship under more strain. Worse yet, maybe you take it out on the kids or are walking around a sad and tired mama. Ouch! No judgments here, gals.
Having and thriving with a long-term partner requires that you treat each other with kindness and respect. We need to show our partners how grateful we are for them in word or deed.
Take note of the littlest of things if it’s hard and then another. Keep building on all that’s good.
Invest not only in your business but also in your relationship, personal growth, and healing.
I have learned not enough couples make consistent efforts for each other, while it’s so important for both of you to do so.
We’ll give you some additional ideas to get you started.
- Surprise your partner. Send each other a loving app or tell your partner how important he/she/they are to you. Be specific and from the heart. You can also write sweet messages on post-it notes and leave them in all sorts of places.
- Start the day out high! This can be done, for example, by saying something loving to the other person after waking up. A morning hug or a quickie will bring you a long way!
- Take a walk down memory lane. Think about when you first met, that exciting first date, the first time you danced, went out to dinner together. Look at photos from your past together. That beautiful holiday, that pleasant outing, that family dinner…. Laugh with each other and enjoy each other.
- Be respectful even if you are annoyed or frustrated. We’ve all been taught to be friendly and courteous to perfect strangers. Your partner deserves at least the same.
- Look at each other. If you’re busy, you may rarely really look at your partner, even when you’re speaking to each other. Become more aware of how you do this. (See Bonus tip below)
- Think positive and empowering thoughts. Since stress levels lead to alienation, it’s easier to zoom in on your partner’s negative traits, further increasing the distance between you. To counteract this negativity, consciously think of at least five positive thoughts after each critical one. This is actual science! The Magic Ratio is 5:1. (Gottman) Five positive to every negative one will guarantee success!Showing appreciation does not require a degree or complicated actions. Experiment with words or gestures. This will bring you closer to each other and help you deepen and nurture your relationship. Yes, it takes time and conscious effort, but I promise you, it will be worth it!
For some of you, this might feel a bit tricky, even uncomfortable. I dare you to try it anyway, and remember, it’s okay to smile or laugh. Just don’t be surprised if some other emotions come up. Share these as well with your partner.
If you want to go for gold, do this exercise:
- Sit comfortably and silent, knee to knee with your partner, and simply look into each other’s eyes.
- Set a timer for three minutes.
- Continue looking into one another’s eyes for this worthy and yet so often overlooked loving and intimate act.
- Finish the exercise with a hug and a kiss and share your experiences.
If you really want to prevent the stress and go next level in your relationship, consider different healing modalities or having a coach like Moi! We all need help. Even we have our coaches! Being pro-active, preventing relationship stress means investing time, energy, and even money to THRIVE in this most essential part of your life.
One last thing to remember…You teach people how to treat you. You show them what you will accept, and you alone can start to bring more joy and fun back into your relationship.
If you like this, give us a thumbs up! My darling Ronald is helping me with our blogs, so a little love from you will encourage him to write more!!
Love, Peace, and a Smile,
Carol & Ronald