I don’t think I have to tell you that the lockdown situation is beginning to get to us all. Especially those of us in close quarters with our nearest and dearest!
Google shows spikes in the search for “divorce coronavirus” in April and May. The media has reported that divorce rates are beginning to skyrocket, simply because we’re now forced to spend time together while we’re quarantined.
When The Honeymoon Is Over
Admit it. You’ve discovered more quirks about your partner that drive you nuts in the past few months than you did in the entire life before the quarantine. Suddenly it turns out that they’re a pencil tapper, or they make weird noises or that they leave a dirty coffee cup on their work desk for hours at a time.
In a serious sense, domestic violence reports have also increased. People are now forced to spend all their time together, and tensions are rising beyond normal limits. If you are in this situation, I urge you to reach out to the relevant authorities if you can, or if you can’t, confide in a trusted person who can reach out on your behalf. Your safety is a huge priority, and I can’t urge you enough to seek help.
For those who are just annoyed, irritated, vexed, or just plain exasperated with your significant other, I want to give you some tips to spice up your quarantine life! Love during lockdown doesn’t have to be boring or difficult.
Love During Lockdown
Here’s where we can have some fun in lockdown, without compromising our relationships. Let’s look at some ideas on how you can have some quality time in quarantine.
Take Care Of Your Mental Health
Before you start on the “we” in the relationship, take some time out for the “me.” Looking after yourself is vital, and especially with the world going topsy turvy, you need the time for yourself.
Get into a good routine, connect with your friends and families, and make time for alone time. Constant contact can be draining, so it’s vital that you also set aside time to recharge your batteries and do something you want to do.
Mindful Walking is another tool that I use to disconnect from the outside world and reconnect with myself, so I can listen to my body and what it needs. These moments of clarity help me realize what is going on around me and how I can work on this.
Time In, Time Out
Constant contact means that every little thing can escalate to the extreme. It’s essential to make sure that you have time apart from each other each day, but also to open lines of communication with each other.
If you feel like things are escalating, honest, calm discussion helps. You can also opt for a time out, where you respectfully walk away and take the time to think over the situation. Ask yourself:
“Is it worth my energy and time to continue the disagreement?”
“How can we resolve this together without an argument?”
“Is this important in the overall picture?”
I can’t stress how important communication is in these times. If you need some additional ideas on how to open the lines of communication. Try this short exercise called Pathways to Peace.
- Be open-minded and ready to communicate – don’t go in fighting.
- Take a few minutes to sit down and open up about your feelings. Be clear on how this makes you feel, and why this makes you afraid. Your partner should acknowledge these concerns as well by repeating them.
- Take responsibility as well – relationships are a 2-way street!
- Show appreciation and gratitude for the things your partner does that are amazing. This is really important
If you need help with this exercise or more information, why not get in touch?
I’ll be there for you…
Who doesn’t love the show “Friends”? When it comes to togetherness, this group took over the world and showed how a tight connection can bring joy and a sense of belonging to a community
I’m not talking about going out and buying a brown couch and dancing in a fountain, but why not establish a couples date night? Restrictions are lifting, so if you’re able to, you could go to a restaurant, but if you’re unable to – zoom dinner parties are a lot of fun too. Plan a menu together, cook the same meal, and enjoy quality time with your friends. It’s so important right now to make sure you’re communicating outside the house. Surround yourself (virtually) with your best friends!
Get (Un)Dressed For Success.
Hands up if yoga pants are your go-to outfit these days? Not leaving the house means that we’ve slipped so far into our comfort zones that getting dressed up is a thing of the past.
I’ve heard of a couple of fun online challenges that have the potential to put the spark back into your relationship.
The first is #FormalFriday, where couples are getting dressed up and strutting their stuff around the house -even posting selfies on social media. It’s fantastic, and people are really getting into it and showing that quarantine can be fashionable.
The second is a slightly more naughty one – if you’re not on TikTok, this one is sweeping the internet! The idea is to walk in on your partner, unannounced and naked. Hilarious reactions are recorded on film.
Spontaneity and fun are a way to put the spark back into your relationship. If you’ve got some other ideas, why not drop them in the comments!
Get Oiled Up
Essential oils not only smell fantastic, but they have fantastic properties. From warming oils like cinnamon, peppermint and black pepper for couples massages, to calming, soothing, sensual sandalwood linen sprays, and even spicing up your bath with rose oil and nutmeg, high quality, pure essential oils are a great way to kick start your love life in quarantine.
You can also try one of my favorite diffuser blends – döTERRA Passion for getting the mood going.
A drop of cinnamon oil under your tongue can really warm things up as well, and I always joke that I’m hiding the cinnamon from my husband. ???? Warning it can make things hot, so always use it with a carrier oil on your skin and don’t use it in the bath!
Interested in learning more about essential oils? Call me as I’m always running classes on using essential oils.
And For My Last Tip
Sometimes all the advice in the world can still only make a dent on the issues at hand. I want you to know that that’s ok, and you can reach out to a coach like me to help you with your relationship.
Together we’ll work on the issues and explore new ways to communicate and express how you’re feeling. Your relationship is meaningful, and even if it’s time to consider the end, we can work together on creating a good parting.