Is your bedroom a safe, relaxing haven or a room filled with clutter and chaos?
Do you have bed linens from 10 years ago? A huge pile of wash that keeps piling up? Is the center of your room a huge a television??? Is the paint peeling off the walls?
If your love life sucks then you might want to keep reading.
????♀️ Let’s start with sleep…Not getting enough zzz’s is not only hurting your love life but it’s also messing with your health and hormones (thus your mood).
How in the world are you going to truly connect with your lover if you are disconnected to yourself because of a lack of rest and rejuvenation?
???? If you have babies or little ones that don’t yet sleep through the night (even teenagers that may tend to stay out past your bedtime), it will be a bigger challenge, so let’s try to get you as many quality minutes in as possible. ⠀
Here are some of my favourite rituals
???? Visit your bedroom an hour before you go to bed. Just look at your bed but don’t get in yet! Begin by imagining you happily climbing under your duvet. Get excited like you will be going there to meet the best lover you’ve ever had (with any luck he’ll be there too;)
???? If you are in the mood for sex it can help to PLAN this. I know it sounds really boring but it can be a game changer. If it’s game on, it might be nice to ask your partner to light some candles before getting into bed and then take a nice bath first or even shower together.
???? If you like essential oils you can already put on your diffusor or have a spray bottle handy to mist your pillows and the room. (It’s also a great way to make your sheets look like you’ve ironed them. Mist in the morning and iron with your hand!)
???? We love Serenity, Lavender or Wild Orange. Add a bit of CedarWood or Vetiver and I guarantee you’ll be off to a good start. If you want it a little sexier scent try some Cinnamon (don’t spray it in your eyes!)
???? If you have a stereo in your bedroom in your bedroom, you could already put on your favourite winding down playlist so it’s on when you arrive.⠀
More Daily Habits
???? Put your prettiest notebook and pen next to your bed where you can write down 3 things you are grateful for. ⠀
???? Always have a REAL book next to your bed and try reading instead of looking at your telephone before going to sleep.
Ideally, the bedroom should be a device free zone. If you’re hooked, try at least taking a night or two off. If you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t sleep it’s only going to make it worse by looking at your screen! Try some deep belly breathing and counting back from 100.
???? Reflect back on your day without judgement and set a clear intention for tomorrow. ⠀
???? Once you finally get into bed and close your eyes, put the biggest, silliest smile on your face you can muster, and say out-loud or to yourself, “No matter what happens, this is going to be a really good night!”⠀
???? If possible get your partner in on the fun. If they think you are weird and resistant to joining in, they may just laugh. It’s all good!
???? If and when you can, treat yourself to the nicest most luxurious sheets you can. Make sure your duvet is big enough to go over the edges so you don’t have to fight for the covers in the middle of the night.
Believe me, it is so worth it!
???? Give your bed buddy the sweetest kiss you can and thank them for one thing they have done for you today or why you love them.⠀
Time to Wake Up
???? When you wake up, before you have even opened your eyes, get that silly smile out again and say, “This is going to be an AMAZING day!”
Warning: It’s contagious and you may start your day with a laugh. I know we do. Your bed buddy might join in on the fun and you might start your day with a laugh.
???? Your words have power! Use them wisely!
???? The first thing I do after my feet hit the floor is make our bed. Yes! I do it. Ronald basically doesn’t care. It takes me literally 60 seconds (it doesn’t have to be perfect) and, it sets myself up for success the rest of the day and, makes it so much nicer to get into later.⠀⠀
If you’re ready to take your relationship to the next level, or you feel like you need to restart those intimacy fires, it’s a good thing to start with you. I’d love to connect with you and help you find new ways to spark intimacy in your relationship with, or without your partner!